Keep Head Erect
by Minagorishi
Summary: COMPLETE! Hatori is dragged to Busch Gardens by Shigure and Aayame, and they discover a most interesting rule on one of the rides...Please read and review! Oh, and by the way, I OWN NOTHING! Flames will be used to roast weenies!
1. Default Chapter

"**Keep Head Erect!"**

By: Minagorishi

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Hey everyone! I'm back! Sorry for poisoning your minds with those horrible Inu-fics I had posted before…they are now where they belong, in a final resting place…Anyways, I got the idea for this fic when I was in Busch Gardens on a chorus field trip, and my friends helped me develop the plot a little bit, so thanks to all of them! There will be a slight bit of yaoi (male x male) innuendo in this fic, but not really anything more than you would read in the manga…I'm just gonna be on the safe side with the rating, though…By the way: for those of you who don't know, I DO NOT OWN FRUITS BASKET! I know, its surprising, right? So, I hope ya'll enjoy! Also, since I'm lazy, after I use a main character's name once, I'll just use the first letter after that…you'll know what I mean once you read…

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Prologue

**Hatori:** Why did you morons drag me to this lousy theme park?

**Aayame: **Because, Tori-san, you need to have more fun in your life! That's why YOU get to spend time with US!

**H: **_rolls eyes_ Oh, yes, all I want to do is spend time with you two freaks.

**Shigure:** On a leash?

**H:** WHAT!

**S:** "Freak on a Leash". It's a song. Quite a good one, in fact! Hey, you guys wanna go on that ride?

**H:** Gwazi? Sure, why not? Just follow whatever the rules say so I don't get hurt…

**Little Girl:** _points at Aayame_ Excuse me, miss, are you a model?

**A:** Why no, little girl, I'm a fashion designer…the best in the world!

**H: **Plus he's a guy…

**Little Girl:** _runs away screaming_

**A: **Waaah! Tori-san! That little girl ran away!

**H:** _chuckles_ I would have, too, Aayame.

**S:** Hey, Aaya! You made Haa-san laugh! When was the last time that happened?

**H:** _sigh_ Not since Kana left…Don't worry, though, I've decided to get over her…

**A:** YAY! Finally! Now I can have you all to myself!

**H:** Who said I wanted you?

**S:** Hey! Doesn't anybody want me?

**H:** Nope. Anyways, lets get onto the ride…

**A:** Hey, Gure-san? Does that rule say what I think it does?

**H:** Oh, shit…

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Well, that's all for this chapter! The next one should be ready soon, but please tell me what you think! Ja ne!


	2. Chappie Uno

"**Keep Head Erect!"**

By: Satsuriku-sama

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Hey everyone! What's up (other than the ceiling, Nimrochan…)? I kinda got tired of Minagorishi, so I changed my pen name to Satsuriku-sama! You can also call me Satsu-chan, if you want...Ummmm...HarryDarcoYaoi!(don't ask...)

I didn't want to update till I had at least 10 reviews, but I'll settle for 9…so I don't get in trouble, I'm changing the format of my fic, so now its in 3rd person pov….I'm sorry in advance that it is so short, but that's all there is.

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**Chappie Uno **

"Oh, shit…" Hatori's voice came forth uneasily from his lips as he looked up at the sign that stated the rules for going on the ride. In large print, right underneath the first rule, it simply stated, "Keep Head Erect". Knowing his two hentai friends all too well, Hatori began banging his forehead repeatedly on the protective bar, which was unfortunately made of foam, and therefore did not give him the concussion he so desired.

"No, no, Tori-san, it says to keep your head _erect_. You cannot expect to do that if you are banging it…" Ayame spoke up from next to the dragon, and Shigure chimed in from behind.

"Haa-san, why don't you have Aaya help you get your head erect?" Hatori turned around, glaring daggers at his friend.

"If you don't shut up, you wont HAVE a head…Damn perverts." The slightly more than disgusted Hatori exclaimed. Shigure and Ayame's antics were so disturbing and distracting that Hatori did not even notice that the ride people had already come around to check everybody's seatbelts.

"Tori-san, I DO hope your joking. What use would we have for Gure-san if he didn't have a head?"

"…" Hatori had been temporarily rendered speechless as Ayame continued suggestively, "but if you promise not to chop his head off, I'm sure that Gure-san and I can give you a different _kind_ of ride when this is over!" Hatori resumed banging his head onto the bar, still not getting a concussion, as well as not realizing that the ride had already started. He then began to wonder why he hasn't gotten used to his friends enough in order to ignore them.

"Ayame, stop. Just…Stop. My normalcy can not withstand the perverted nature of you two idiots…And this moronic ride takes forever to start!" Shigure looked around him, noticing that the ride was about halfway over, and tried to notify his friend of this.

"Ummm, Haa-san?"

"Shut your trap, inu…Or else I will go thru with every single treat I have ever placed upon your head…O, crap, there's that word again…Why do I, of all people, have to be the one who gets to be friends with the two biggest idiots AND perverts the entire world has ever seen?" Hatori was becoming more and more agitated by the moment, and by now the two other Madubachi were silent except for attempting to warn him that the ride had indeed started, of which he would not hear. "Why cant you two just BE QUIET?"

"Um, sir?" A cautious voice approached Hatori from behind. Hatori whipped around.

"Yes?"

"The rides over. You need to get off now."

"Oh."

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Yeah…Poor Tori-san! (cries)

Sorry it took so long to get the final chapter up. I was in a really bad mood, and if I write when I'm in a bad mood, it sucks. I couldn't bear to do that to this story.

So…until next time: Ja ne!


	3. Bad Inu!

"**Keep Head Erect!"**

By: Minagorishi

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OK…This story was supposed to be finished, but I got a review or two asking me to update…So, here you go!

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**Bad Inu!**

When the Madubachi Trio finally got home that day, Hatori and Ayame promptly fell asleep, thinking that Shigure had, as well. What they didn't know was that the inu had different plans for them. With an evil smirk, Shigure turned the AC as low as it would go, as well as turning on all the fans in the room.

Ayame, about ready to freeze to death, woke up only long enough to move over slightly and wrap Hatori's arms around himself. Hatori unconsciously tightened his grip, and the conniving dog turned off the air and fans, curled up, and went to sleep.

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I'm so mean to poor Hatori! Anyway, I hope you liked this ultra-short chappie that had nothing to do with anything in the world, and if you want me to, I guess I could continue it…But I really don't care either way…

I should be coming up with some other fics soon, maybe I'll even type one up now…Yes, that sounds like a good idea…I have a bunch already written up, anyways…So, for now, ja ne!


	4. Revenge is Sweet!

"**Keep Head Erect"**

By: Minagorishi

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I'm back (dun dun DUN!) Oh, and I don't own Fruits Basket…If I did:

**1**-My name would be Natsuki Takaya

**2**-This would not be a fanfic

**3**-I would actually be able to draw…(cries)

**4**-I would live in Japan

**5**-I would be rich

**6**-Hatori would not be straight ('Tori/Aaya pairing all the way, baby!)

**7**-Yuki, Kyo, and Haru would be a threesome

**8**-Tohru would be going out with Kagura (I have my reasons…)

**9**-Shigure would be paired with Akito

**10**-There would be a lot more yaoi and yuri!

**11**-HarryDracoYaoi! (…inside joke, don't ask)

So…. enough daydreaming! (Goes back to day-dreaming…mmmm…yaoi…yuri… whips and chains and leather, oh, my…) ONWARD!

This chapter has a bit of a Haru/Yuki pairing in it…No likey, no read(y?)…Oh, and a magical, color-changing Yuki Souma! Woot!

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**Revenge is Sweet!**

When Hatori and Ayame woke up the next morning, Shigure had already left. When Hatori realized what had happened, he began cursing mildly underneath his breath.

"Baka inu…When he gets back here, I'm gonna wring his friggin neck!"

"Um, Tori-san? I may have a plot for revenge… I-if you'd listen to me, that is." Ayame was getting nervous, seeing his longtime friend in the angered state he was in.

Hatori looked up at the snake. "What is it, Ayame?" He inquired kindly, calming Ayame down.

"Well…"Ayame began to fidget, and told Hatori his evil plot for revenge on the inu.

"That is just crazy enough to work…"

Hatori called the main house and asked for Hatsuharu. When Haru answered the phone, Hatori filled him in on the plot. "OK, I'll just grab Yuki and head over there. This'll give us a chance to get away. Arigato, Hatori-san!"

"Not a problem, Haru, just get over here as soon as you can." Hatori hung up and turned to Ayame. "Phase one, complete." Ayame smiled and awaited the arrival of his younger brother and his boyfriend.

Yuki and Haru showed up a few minutes later. "Yuki!" Ayame cried, pulling his brother into a bone-crushing hug. "How lovely to see you, younger brother!"

"Nii-san? Can you please get off of me?" Yuki was beginning to turn purple from lack of oxygen.

"Ayame, let the poor boy go, he's changing color." Aaya promptly let the poor rat go. "Now, do you two understand what to do?"

"Hai, Hatori, we need to make it so that Shigure thinks you two are in here having the time of your lives, while he is locked out. Then you two will sneak up behind him, give the secret signal, and we will help you tie him up inside the house. Is that all?" Yuki rattled off the directions he and Hatsuharu had been given verbatim.

"Yes, that is it. We'll see you guys soon. Have fun!" Haru smirked evilly at Ayame's last comment.

"Don't worry, Aaya-kun, we will." With that, Hatori and Ayame left, leaving yuki and Haru to their own devices. Haru locked all the doors and windows. "So, Yuki, are we ready to have fun?"

Yuki donned an evil smirk that could scare the devil. "Yes, Haru-koi, I believe we are!"

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Another cliffie! Yay for me! Woot! Please review! Ja ne!


	5. Fun Diddly Funfun!

"**Keep Head Erect"**

By: Minagorishi

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I'm back (dun dun DUN!). I'm sorry it took me so long to update! Oh, and I don't own Fruits Basket…If I did:

1. My name would be Natsuki Takaya

2. This would not be a fanfic

3. I would actually be able to draw…(cries)

4. I would live in Japan

5. I would be rich

6. Hatori would not be straight ('Tori/Aaya pairing all the way, baby!)

7. Yuki, Kyo, and Haru would be a threesome

8. Tohru would be going out with Kagura (I have my reasons…)

9. Shigure would be paired with Akito

10. There would be a lot more yaoi and yuri!

11. HarryDracoYaoi! (…inside joke, don't ask)

So…. enough daydreaming! (Goes back to day-dreaming…mmmm…yaoi…yuri… whips and chains and leather, oh, my!…) ONWARD!

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**Fun Diddly Fun-fun!**

Yuki popped the first DVD into Haru's laptop, cringing when the opening theme began to play. He HATED that darn Fruits Basket theme song (Yes, for some unknown reason, the Fruits Basket DVD series exists in my fic. Don't ask me why. It's just convenient.)…

"OK, Haru-koi, lets get this over with so we can REALLY have some fun…" Yuki and Hatsuharu had been going out since Yuki's last year of high school, and Yuki had traveled for a year so they could go to college together. They both majored in Computer Programming, and were the number one and two in their class. They could pretty much get a computer to do anything, which was why Ayame had included them in his plot. The poor snake was useless when it came to computers, and Hatori was not much better.

"OK, so we're making it sound like all of us are playing Shigure's favorite drinking game, right?" Shigure loved drinking games. If he thought they were all playing a drinking game without him, he'd go insane.

"Yep. What do you want to do when we're finished editing the voices on this all together, Yuki-koi?" Haru looked at his boyfriend hopefully. Yuki got the message.

"I told you already, love, we're going to have some REAL fun. Not just some random virtual drinking game."

"Good. I could use a little fun. Our apartment sucks for that kind of thing." Yuki and Haru lived in a small apartment with extremely thin walls, and Kyo living next door on one side, with Kagura and Tohru underneath. Not exactly an ideal situation for two young lovers. They almost had enough money to move to a house, though, so they were sticking it out for the last few months.

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Yes, another short chapter. Gomen ne! I love you all for staying with my story thus far. Thank you so much! If you want, you can give me ideas for other chapters, or ways to improve, or whatever. Just don't straight-up flame. They WILL be used to roast weenies!

Please review and tell me which drinking game they should play (I don't like alcohol, so I'm pretty useless when it comes to drinking games, and therefore only know a few). Make it creative, though, and not just your average drinking game…Something you'd have to be completely sloshed to play because of how messed up it is. Arigato! Ja ne!


	6. Drinking Games

"**Keep Head Erect"**

**By Minagorishi**

Hey, everyone! Sorry it took so long to update...I had a bit of writers block with regards to this story. Gomen ne:Bangs head on wall: Anyhoo...I do not own Furuba. :cries: Enjoy!

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Chapter 6

Drinking Games

"OK, Haru, it's done...Should we call Hatori?" Yuki asked. He and Haru had just finished reworking the Fruits Basket DVDs to make it sound as though they were playing Shigure's favorite drinking game.

"I guess we should, but shouldn't we push the play button first? In case Gure-nii comes, he won't hear us talking to Hatori, and the plot will be in place."

"Good idea, Haru-koi." Yuki said, kissing his boyfriend on the lips. Yuki walked over and pushed the "play" button on the DVD player. "Let the drinking games begin."

"Tori-saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! You need to drink with us!" Ayame's voice rang out over the speaker system. Yuki cringed. It sounded as though his brother was standing right next to him. 'We did an awesome job with this...' He thought.

"Its perfect. Let's go call Hatori, Yuki." As if on cue, the DVD began playing Hatori's voice at that exact moment. "Sigh, fine, Ayame, I'll play this retarded game with you. Wouldn't you rather play with Shigure, though?"

"No!" the snake's voice replied. "Plus, there are four of us, so we can have plenty of fun! Right, little brother?"

"How did I get dragged into this?" Yuki's recorded voice asked wearily.

"Same way I did." Hatori's voice replied. 'This is creepy.' Yuki and Haru thought. That was when the phone chose to ring. Hatsuharu answered it.

"Moshi-mohsi." He shouted into the phone.

"Haru? What are you doing there?" Shigure asked over the phone.

"Aaya and Hatori invited Yuki and I over to spend the day. We're playing a drinking game right now." Haru slurred his voice slightly so it sounded more convincing. "Why, Sensei?"

"No reason, Haru, just asking. By the way, what game are you playing?"

"Truth or Dare. A little bit childish, I know, but once you're drunk, it's actually quite amusing. Plus, the stupid authoress couldn't think of anything better. I've got to go, Sensei, it's my turn. Bye!" With that, Haru hung up the phone on Shigure and went to call Hatori from his cell.

"What?" Hatori's irritable voice came over the line.

"Yo. Be more polite when you answer the phone, ne? I just spoke to Sensei. He knows we're playing the game. You guys might want to get over here and hide. He'll probably be here soon."

"That works. Thanks, Haru."

"Yeah, whatever, just hurry up. Me and Yuki are creeped out by this track. Later, Hatori."

"Bye." Haru hung up the phone and walked over to where Yuki was sitting. Haru sat down next to him and snuggled into his side.

"Ne, Yuki, I'm bored! Amuse me!" Haru whined.

"Haru, stop acting like a kid, its obnoxious. I wont amuse you if you don't stop." Yuki replied calmly, resisting the urge to jump his koibito. Haru snuggled into him again, and Yuki gave into temptation, catching the slightly younger man's lips in a searing kiss.

"Much better." Haru panted after they broke apart.

"I agree." Came an amused voice from behind them. Yuki and Haru whirled around only to see Shigure standing there armed with a video camera and wicked grin. Thinking quickly, Yuki lashed his legs out, knocking the dog over, as Haru grabbed the camera and broke it. "HEY! THAT'S MY CAMERA! You're buying me a new one, Haa-chan!"

"Not a snowball's chance in hell, you were going to use that to blackmail us! How did you get in here, anyways?" Haru inquired as Yuki got up to go and get ropes so that they could tie Shigure up. 'Stupid Shigure ruining a perfectly good kiss.' He thought angrily, fetching the ropes and walking back to where Haru had an adamant Shigure pinned down so that he couldn't run away.

"I had never really left. I was hiding in the basement the entire time. I heard your plans and everything, and my phone call was just playing along with the scheme of things. You should really be an actor, Haa-chan; you're quite good." Yuki rolled his eyes at the dog's last statement. 'He just keeps getting more and more ridiculous.'

Just as they finally finished tying Shigure up, Hatori and Ayame arrived back to the house. When Haru and Yuki explained what Shigure had done, Hatori got angry, and Aaya cracked up laughing.

"What's so funny, Nii-san?" Yuki asked his elder brother.

"I knew he'd plot something like that! That was SO Gure-san!"

"Shut up, Ayame." Hatori said coldly. Ayame immediately stopped laughing. Hatori sighed dejectedly. "I guess we'll never win against this stupid mutt, huh?"

"Guess so. But you'll keep trying, wont you?" Shigure asked.

"Shigure, if you don't shut up, all four of us are going to beat you senseless!" Haru exclaimed, beginning to turn Black. Shigure shut up...Finally.

**END**

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Yup! That's it! No more of this fic for me, it was already longer than it should have been. I will be continuing my Harry Potter fic, "Be My God!", which is rather amusing, if you're into Harry Draco pairings. I will also be starting a few new fics soon. Look for them! Ja ne!


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